SOLID FOUNDATION FOR MARRIAGE

I posted this on a group chat that my darling friend, Marina, is also a participant in and it reads: “I always say marriage has no formula! however, always bear in mind that four things are inevitably needed for marriage to succeed: COMMUNICATION, UNDERSTANDING, TRUST AND RESPECT. They are the solid foundation indeed which bring about stability. Without them, relationships may suffer greatly and even get destroyed in the long run.”

Here’s what Dr Marina Ioannou added:

“For me personally and my marriage the following applies:

Communication:

This is not just the “hi, how are you”, “how was your day” kind of communication but the actual sit down and talk about everything type of one.
Talk about your history, story, success, fears and anxieties. We share even ‘dark’ thoughts and sometimes things that might upset the other person. However, because we trust, respect and understand each other nothing is too much to share. Also discuss about important decisions etc. We are not only husband and wife but also best friends. Of course I have my girlfriends and he has his boyfriends that we can talk to and share things with however, for us, it’s important to implement the same philosophy in our relationship.

Understanding:

This can mean different things to people but again for us, it is to understand where we are both coming from when we act the way we do or when we say something to each other. Understanding for us is the act of extending grace to ourselves. Don’t judge your other half too quickly, hear their side of things and try to put yourself in their shoes.
You are two completely different people with different personalities and so to be able to become one in marriage (not only physically but also emotionally: Phil 2:2 says …having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind), you have to have understanding as a foundation. know what triggers him/her to be angry, learn to communicate respectfully via your actions, and know how to empower yourselves etc.

Trust:

You have to be able to trust your other half. Trust that they will never cheat on you, trust that you are their number one and they want the best for the both of you. Of course this comes with time and deliberate actions from both parties. The trust part for us was easy. We were good friends before exploring the possibility of being a couple and so trust was something already in our relationship. Dating/courtship period will help with building trust. In order to marry right you really have to see what the other person is like in their environment, in their element and not just them fronting when they sweet talk you via messages.

Respect:

Having “respect” is not just about not talking badly about your partner in the presence of people and the likes. It comes in so many other forms.
I’ve learned and I’m still trying to better myself in knowing that respect includes not teasing him in public, not telling him to do something to help me out and then going to inspect it afterwards only to tell him how to do it my own way without gratitude.
I also show him respect via the tone of my voice and body language like not rolling my eyes in disdain. I respect his space and his competence and I don’t tell him to pick me up at 18:00 whilst I’m not ready until 18:30 etc.
Usually, those things don’t communicate respect for the other person.”

For us, these four points are indeed the solid foundation that have been making our marriage to work out successfully. Please note that each foundation has been mentioned in no particular order and none is more important than the other.

Remember, every relationship is unique! there’s indeed no formula hence the need to figure things out and work out your own relationship.

gloryinyou wishes you all the best in your relationships and marriages going forward.

P.S. Just one word, phrase, clause or sentence can bring the positive change that you need. Find it here @gloryinyou⭐😇

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