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knowing who you are and your calling in life is indeed the very first part of a purposeful marriage. From the very beginning, GOD created us for fellowship (relationship) with Himself, with others, and with the world around us, and ultimately to fulfil a Divine mandate. To walk meaningfully in life, and ultimately in marriage, we must first understand who we are, why we were created, and what GOD has called us to do.
Your life is not a random accident. You are a carefully crafted part of GOD’s grand design, you are GOD’s masterpiece. Before you were even born, He had already placed a unique assignment within you.
I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations. – Jeremiah 1:5
In the same way, GOD knew you before he formed you, and He gave you a unique identity and purpose. This calling includes being the light of Christ wherever you are. It shows in how you honour your parents, contribute positively to your nation, live as a disciple of Christ in everyday life, and in the future, how you love your spouse and raise your children.
What Does It Mean to Have a Calling?
To have a calling is to recognise that GOD has placed a unique role on your life, one that no one else can fulfill in the exact same way. Knowing yourself and your calling aligns with the Apostle Paul’s reminder to us that we are all members of one body, each with different functions but united in purpose.
- “The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ.” – 1 Corinthians 12:12
- “so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you.” – Romans 12:5-6
Knowing your calling gives direction. It helps you understand where GOD is leading you and how your life can serve His kingdom. And when it comes to marriage, it becomes the compass for choosing a partner whose destiny aligns with yours (more details in the subsequent post).
Why an Intimate Relationship With GOD Comes First
Purpose and calling cannot be discovered apart from GOD. Think of it this way: only the manufacturer truly understands the product, its design, and its intended use. If something goes wrong with the product, the best person to consult is the manufacturer, not a random user who might misuse it.
In the same way, GOD is our Creator. He designed us, formed us, and placed within us the gifts and assignments meant to fulfill His purpose on earth. If we want to know our calling, we must go back to Him.
Know that the LORD, He is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. – Psalm 100:3 (NKJV)
Jesus also said:
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. – John 10:27
If hearing GOD’s voice is essential for life, how much more for marriage, a covenant that shapes your destiny and the generations after you? In fact, you must learn to hear GOD concerning every aspect of your life, so that when it is time to hear GOD about a spouse, you will already be confident, recognising His voice as He speaks to you.
Without knowing who you are in Christ and what He has called you to do, it becomes difficult to enter into a purposeful marriage. Knowing yourself and your calling is extremely important.
Q&A: Discovering Purpose Before Marriage
Q: What is a calling, really?
A: A calling is GOD’s unique assignment for your life. It is how you use your gifts, talents, and opportunities to serve Him and make an impact in the world. There are two posts on ‘Glory in You’ on how to make global impacts in life; the first giant step and the second giant step. Please read them and be blessed!
Q: How can I know my calling?
A: Begin with a growing relationship with GOD and take it very seriously. Purpose and calling cannot be discovered apart from GOD. He is the one who made you and knows you, hence it is only through intimacy with Him (via His Word, prayer, worship, fasting, and obedience) that you can clearly discern His voice and His plan. He will reveal your gifts, burdens and the direction of your life.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. – Proverbs 3:5-6
Also, Trusted mentors and the church community can also help confirm what GOD is already stirring in your heart. More about seeking GOD is elaborated on in the next question.
Q: Do I need to fully know my calling before marriage?
A: Although GOD continues to reveal purpose in stages, it’s important to have clarity about your direction. This ensures you don’t commit to a marriage that pulls you away from GOD’s plan but rather into a union that strengthens it. I am emphasising this point because you must have confidence in GOD, believe that GOD knows you, and He sees you. However, you have a role to play. Seek the LORD and trust that he will answer. He wants this for you way more than you can imagine. All you need is for your whole heart to be committed in seeking Him. Refer to the following scriptures:
- I love all who love me. Those who search will surely find me. – Proverbs 8:17
- And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. – 1 John 5:14
- Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. – Mathew 7:7
- And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that He rewards those who sincerely seek him. – Hebrews 11:6
- Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires. – Psalm 37:4
All scriptures are taken from the New Living Translation unless otherwise stated.
In the next part of this series on a purposeful marriage, we’ll explore what it truly means to marry into destiny, not just into a person, and why this alignment is key for a joyful, GOD-centered home.
Wishing you the very best as you grow deep down and spiritually rooted in GOD through Christ the Lord. Amen!!
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